(Beautiful sunset picture from our Key West trip in 2004).
Ok, so things are more normal than they were three weeks ago. I am walking around with no crutches, trying to walk as normal as possible. I can pick-up my children and can walk a few steps with Lilly but Lucas is still too heavy to carry. They have both been great about holding my hand or following me, but I miss the extra snuggles.
I went out to a parking lot Sunday night to "practice" driving and making sure I was able to slam on the brakes. It's kinda weird after not driving for three weeks but I passed my test so I am able to drive this week. It is nice to have a little more freedom and not have to be "chaperoned" all the time. Haven't done any fun outings yet...I see Target in my future. The kids and I are surviving by ourselves until daddy gets home, I just still get extra tired or need to relax more than I am use to doing. Definitely back to work but trying not to take on too much.
I think God is using this surgery to teach me a lesson...well two lessons.
1. Slow Down and don't try to do so much all the time.
2. Appreciate your blessings.
Both messages are loud and clear. I am struggling with the first though. I am always just go go go. I have a list of items to accomplish and I like to check them off. I try to squeeze too much into one hour, or one day, or one weekend. God has been trying to teach me this one for over a year and I was obviously too busy to even listen! It is hard being a work-at-home mom trying to accomplish the typical stay-at-home mommy duties and then throwing 15-20 hours of work on top of that. I am use to being able to do 5 things at once and since this surgery it just really isn't possible. I am trying to re-learn that is it ok to let certain things go. It's ok to accept help when it is offered and it's ok to ask for help too. I need to stop feeling guilty about the laundry that is clean and waiting to be folded for two days now. I decided that the "to-do" list that I made this morning is going to be a goal to shoot for by Friday instead of the end of today. I am trying to let go of that need in the back of my head to always be doing something. I need to relax, enjoy my children and time with my family and friends.
I think this is where #2 comes into play. If you aren't appreciating everything and everyone around you then you start to take alot of things for granted. Your relationships, your children, your health (and ease of mobility). I have always tried to be very thankful for all my blessings, but I have realized that just because you are remembering to say thanks to God doesn't neccesarily mean your are taking the time to enjoy your blessings.
I am a firm believer in "Everything happens for a reason", or maybe better stated..."God brings something good out of everything bad".
Well, before and through this sugery God has really been working on me. My attitude, my outlook, my heart, my goals, my family. I believe that God can work miracles. But I also believe that God can't fully work on you until you actually stop and listen to Him. Allow yourself to be open enough to hear what He has to say. I am trying to take life slower and I thank everyone who has tried to help me realize that, who has listened when I needed them to. You know who you are and I love you all very much.